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Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

An Entry From The Private Journal Of Doctor Jack Tyler - September 2nd, 201- Part-II

Nathan turns and sees me.  He waves and smiles, as does my mother, then they go back to their talk.  Meanwhile, my children notice the fox who has started racing around my feet again, and come over to investigate.  As they draw near I kneel down and my furry companion flops down on his back and allows me to give him a belly scratch.


My son and daughter gasp in awe, and in that moment, I have become the coolest dad ever.  Or so I believe until several smaller foxes, come out of hiding and begin to start yipping and getting rambunctious around me.  I start to pet them as well, but there are simply too many.  Inside my head I hear, 'Too much?'  Glancing over at Nathan I gesture with my head towards my son and daughter.  

He nods and soon the little kits are frolicking around my children, who proceed to pet them every so gently.  I'd seen enough kids come into the surgery with bites and scratches from family pets or stray animals, so Cheryl and I made sure Joe and Darlene understand how to behave around animals, even friendly ones.

My little friend suddenly abandons me and heads over to where my mother is standing, and begins to demand attention from her.  The smile on her face as she bends down to comply is priceless. 

A voice from behind me asks gently, "She's doing well?"

"Very well," I reply without turning around.  I don't want to take my eyes off my mother at that moment, for fear I might suddenly wake up and find that I'm still only sixteen and that she's still fighting a losing battle with cancer.  

I had cut out of school early that day.  The news that she wasn't responding to the treatments had been devastating.  I couldn't eat, think or control my temper.  At one point I came close to putting a freshman through a wooden door during second period.  I can't even remember why I did it, I just know it happened.  Three teachers had to pull me off the kid and had ordered me to go to the principal's office.  Needless to say I didn't go.  Instead I ran all the way here, to this very spot, and collapsed.  

I cried, punched the ground, cursed life the works.  It was so unfair.  Why should my mother be given a death sentence.  Where was the justice in that?  Why weren't the doctors doing more for her?  Why couldn't they save her?  


Exhausted from my rage I fell asleep and woke to find night was already closing in.  I remember seeing a full moon through the branches of a tree.  It was so beautiful, for  moment I forgot my pain and wished my mother was there to see it with me.  She loved looking up at the night sky.  Then I remembered she wouldn't be able to do that for much longer, and it all came flooding back.  

That was when the fox showed up.  Apparently, she had been watching me for some time and could sense my distress.  She wanted to come closer, but was afraid.  But then a mist slowly crept across the forest floor.  It seemed to swirl and move towards us as if it had a mind all its own.  The fox was alarmed at first but then after sniffing the air, she seemed calmer and more confident.  That was when she came over and started to sniff and nuzzle my hands.  



I was so amazed at this behavior, that I forgot that it was a wild animal and gently stroked her fur.  She seemed to like it, and soon climbed into my lap.  Tears filled my eyes again, partly from the gesture and partly from my pain.  

At that moment I so wanted my mother to be there with me, healthy and whole, so she could enjoy this wondrous moment.
I must have spoken aloud because a voice came out of the mist which continued to hang around in the area.  "The treatments aren't working, John?"

Startled I looked around but saw no one.  Yet I knew I was not alone.  "No, they aren't.  I'm going to lose her and there's nothing I can do about it." I cried back.  "Doctors and their medicine suck!"

"You know that's not true," the voice said softly.  "They're trying everything they can to save her and you know it."

Sobbing I nodded, "Yes, I do know that.  But it's not enough."

Then from out of the mist I saw a hand followed by a figure that seemed to slowly solidify in the mist.  Soon the owner of the hand stepped out of the fog and I saw it was Nathan.  


To say I was taken aback by his entrance would be an understatement.  He was no stranger to me, I'd known him since I was little.  My mother always introduced him as a friend of the family who was always welcome in our home.  But something about him never seemed quite right to me.  Oh he was friendly and always a lot of fun, but deep down I always knew there was more to him than met the eye.  And here, in my darkest hour, I had found out I was right. 

Oddly enough, the realization actually made me feel more at ease with him.  Even as he sat down beside me, I wasn't the least bit afraid of him.  

"You're not human," I blurted as he reached over and petted the fox who was still in my lap.

"Depends on your point of view," he replied calmly.  "I was born human, but then life took an unexpected turn and I became something more."

For a while I didn't say anything.  A faint hope had started to rise within me, but I was terrified of letting it get grow too much.  But at that point there was no stopping it, and I asked, "Is there anything you can do for my mother?  Can you keep her from dying?"

I remember he looked at me from the corner of his eyes for a moment, and then said, "Yes and no," he answered.  "I can't stop her from dying because we all do that one day, but I can give her more time."

"How much more?" I asked carefully.

"Fifty-sixty years, possibly longer," he answered.  Then he gave the fox a scritch behind the ear saying, "You're a good girl.  I appreciate you keeping my young friend company."

Suddenly a thought occurred to me. "You made her come to me, didn't you?  You're controlling her somehow."

Nathan frowned at that.  "I do not control others," he corrected.  "I create a bond by placing a little part of myself inside them.  Once I'm there, I can make suggestions or help alleviate any fears or misgivings they have."

"Is that what you'd be doing with my mother?" I asked.  

He thought about this for a moment and answered, "Yes and no.  Yes, some of me would be going into her, but not like what I did with our friend here.  My body produces a certain kind of cell that can be harvested and used to help fight things like cancer.  But it takes me a long time to grow those cells in enough numbers to make a difference.  Once they've been taken from me, I won't be able to help anyone else the same way for a few decades."

"Will it hurt?" I asked.

"Nah, she won't feel anything but better," he assured me.

"I meant you," I clarified and waited.  He didn't answer right away, which told me everything I needed to know.  "I thought so," I continued, "But you're willing to do it for her?"

"Of course."

"Why?"

"Because I've watched over her all her life, just as I did her mother and her mother's father," he replied.  "They've all been family to me."

"But you're not related to us," I pointed out.  "You told me so yourself a long time ago."

Here he smiled and said, "Family isn't always about blood.  Sometimes families are formed in other ways.  They're formed by people who become close by always being there for one another.  By caring and loving.  Weathering storms and making sure no one gets left behind."

"I think I understand," I told him and asked, "When will you get your cells 'harvested'?"

"Tonight," he answered.  "A friend of mine is coming into town and we'll be taking care of things down in the cellar of The Crypt."

"I'd like to be there for you," I told him. 

He smiled and took my hand, "I'd appreciate that..."


"Jack?"

I opened my eyes and saw Nathan eyeing me curiously.  "Are you okay?"

"Sorry, I wound up taking a trip down memory lane," I told him.  Then I looked over to where Cheryl had been setting out the food.  Everything was ready.  My mom was already helping serve the food, and calling to my kids to come and get it.  

They obeyed, but with great reluctance.  The two of them had been having a lot of fun with the foxes, who were now hovering nearby, with high hopes for a handout or two.  

"When did you 'influence' them?" I asked Nathan as we went over to join my family.  

"I didn't," he replied.  "They've just gotten used to me.  I always come here when I visit, and I think some of them are descended from our friend back when you were in high school.  She brought her kitts out to meet me.  After that they always come out to greet me and did the same thing with their broods."

I laughed, "You have extended families all over the place, don't you?"

"And they come in all shapes and sizes," he smiled.

"Do they ALL know about you?"

"Most of them," he replied.  "I usually hold off telling them until they hit a certain age."

"I think Joe and Darlene are old enough," I tell him.  

Nathan looks up into the night sky for a moment and says, "After we eat.  It looks like a good night to stretch my wings."

Out of the corner of my eye Cheryl gives me a wide-eyed look.  'Is he going to tell them?' she mouths at me.  

I nod. 

She gives me a wide smile.  I know she's remembering when Nathan shared his secret with her.  He took her up with him.  I can hardly wait to see what he does with my kids.


Saturday, August 22, 2015

An Entry From The Private Journal Of Doctor Jack Tyler - September 2nd, 201-

 *Greetings one and all.  Today I take great pleasure in introducing you to yet another character from "The Vampyre Blogs - Coming Home".  Meet Doctor Jonathan "Jack" Tyler, or Doctor Jack as everyone calls him.  He's another member of Nathan's extended family, as well as a dear friend to Brian and his family.  Jack of course knows Nathan's secret and being the town surgeon, keeps a good supply of blood on hand for him.  But Jack didn't always know about Nathan, and he's here to tell you all how he found out.  I hope you enjoy meeting him and hearing his tale...

Things were busy at the clinic today, as they've been most of the week.  With the start of school there were a lot of last minute immunizations, check-ups, summer sniffles and whatnot to deal with.  Things should quiet down for a bit, but soon it'll be cold and flu season again.  Then of course there'll be the holidays, not that I mind.  I love helping decorate the clinic with my staff.  I'll also get to help with the decorations at home as well, but that won't be for a few weeks. 

God I love this time of year, seeing all the leaves turning it's as if mother nature whipped out her most vibrant paints and started dabbing at the trees.  Looking up I saw the sun was already setting and quickly got into my car.  From there I drove out of town and soon found myself driving down some the most beautiful country roads, bordered by forest on both sides.  

Turning down a well-known side road, I headed deeper into the woods until I started seeing cars dotting both sides of the street.  But I could see people heading back to their cars.  Not many folks like to wander the trails after the sun started going down, but me and my wife love it out here.  I manage to find a good spot to park near where the street actually ends in a wide circle, designed so folks can turn around and head back the way they came.  There's also a fence with an opening that puts your right on the walking path that leads into the woods.   


Getting out, I recognized a number of my patients and neighbors.  This is a popular stretch of woods and in autumn, none of us can get enough of this area.  As I make my way down the picturesque path I'm transported back to another time, some thirty years ago, when my life had taken a much darker outlook. My mother had been diagnosed with cancer, and suddenly my world of popularity on and off the playing field had become so meaningless...

My ruminations are suddenly interrupted by the appearance of a red fox who is standing in the middle of the path a dozen yards ahead of me.  The animal is looking at me and cocks its head in a curious fashion.  There had been a fox back then too, I remember. 


The animal starts to swish its tail excitedly and then proceeds to trot towards me, stopping occasionally as if to check me out.  Finally, when it's just a few feet away, it gets excited and then races around my legs and then starts heading off to the path.  It pauses briefly to stare at me and I just know I'm supposed to follow him, which I do.  

Soon, I find myself deeper in the woods, listening to the crunching of the leaves beneath my feet, as well as enjoying the canopy of gold, red, yellow and green  above me.  I also keep track of my guide who keeps stopping to make sure he hasn't lost me.  As we venture deeper into the woods the sounds of a running water reach my ears and I know for sure where I am and who's waiting for me. 


We come to a clearing that overlooks a large stream with a waterfall just off to my left.  Ahead of me there's a big blanket spread out with my wife Cheryl setting out plates.  My son and daughter, Joe and Darlene are with her.  While over by the edge of the stream stands my mother and the man who saved her, Nathan.  Although she's still in her late sixties, I have to admit she's still a fine looking woman.  The fact that she wouldn't still be here if not for our family friend and guardian, has never been lost on me or my wife.  She and I had been high school sweethearts and I'd nearly pushed her away when my mother got the cancer diagnosis, but Nathan kept me from losing her as well.  

He'd found me in this very spot all those years ago and given me hope when I thought there was none to be found anywhere.  That was the day he'd also shared his secret with me and showed me that even when life throws you what seems to be the ultimate curve ball, that hope can appear out of that darkness if you just keep your eyes open.  

I look up and see the sun is fading.  Soon the stars will be out.  I wonder if tonight will be the night that Nathan shares his secret with my children?  A part of me hopes so.  The truth can be frightening, but it can also be wondrous as he showed me that lonely autumn night so long ago...


TO BE CONTINUED...

Friday, October 17, 2014

Marisa's Musings September 2011 "Alone At School"

*NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR:  Marisa's back today and she's feeling a bit isolated.  Today she's talking about her dad's fight with cancer.  And I can speak from experience that when someone in your family is fighting a condition as serious as that, or some other life-threatening condition, it feels like your whole family is fighting along with them.  You can feel very alone at times, like there's no way anyone else can understand what you're going through.  And as a result, you may withdraw from even your closest friends.  It's not necessarily the best thing to do, but sometimes you just can't help yourself.  Especially if your afraid of losing someone very dear to you.  So to anyone out there who's had to face this kind of situation, you have my deepest sympathies and I pray the outcome was a good one.  If not, I'm deeply sorry.  If you feel this entry might trigger off some bad memories, please spare yourself from reading further.  I'll understand.  The next entry will be much lighter in tone--Thank you*

School ended about an hour and a half ago and yet here I am, wandering the empty hallways feeling more lost and alone than ever.


Normally I'd be home by now, but I knew no one would be home.  Dad's getting another chemo treatment and Mom's with him. I could've gone home with Lisa, but I...I just couldn't.  She's changed and I can't stand it.

She got back from touring Europe with her family a few days after school started, so I didn't even get a chance to see her, until she showed up in homeroom.  As soon as I saw her walk in I was so happy to see her until I realized what she was wearing.  Black clothing which looked like it was from another era entirely.  Oh there were a few splashes of color, but mostly it was black.  


Immediately, several of our classmates started laughing and asking her who died. Of course that hit me pretty hard.  Ever since he was diagnosed with cancer, I've been terrified of losing my dad.  It's gotten so bad that I can hardly even watch some of those old vampire movies, my dad loves so much.  I do of course, but mostly so I can be with him.  But I can't stand the idea of vampires anymore.  Every time I see the heroes trying to fight to save one of Dracula's victims I keep noticing how pale and grey they look, and then I glance at my dad and see a similar pallor in his face.  

Then I begin to envy the characters in the movie.  They have a foe who they can face and put and end to with a sharp wooden stake.  But I can't do that.  I have to sit on the sidelines and watch some unseen enemy trying to drain my father of his health and vitality.  Some days he looks better than others and even seems more like his old self.  Then a day or two later he's weak and looking pale again.

I've had to deal with this all on my own the entire summer.  I didn't have my Lisa at my side to help me cope.  And now when she's finally back she looks like someone in mourning, only she hasn't lost anyone.  She's just getting a whole lot of attention while being a constant reminder to me that I may lose my dad.  

It upsets me so much I can barely stand to be anywhere near her.  She tried to sit with me at lunch her first day back but I Just couldn't do it.  Instead I simply got up and moved away without saying a word.  I didn't mean to do it, but I couldn't say anything without bursting into tears and running away in the middle of the cafeteria.  I eventually went outside and found a place to be alone for a while.


Then today a new problem arose. Everyone expected me to continue being head cheerleader, but with Dad fighting for his life, I just can't do it this year.  So I talked to the coach and told her what was going on.  She fully understood and let me have a good cry on her shoulder for a few minutes.  Once I got myself under control again we talked about who should replace me.

I decided on Sherrie Wallace, who joined the squad just last year.  Sherrie transferred from another school where she had done gymnastics.  But after coming here, she wanted to try out for the cheerleading squad.  Truth be told, I think she's more talented than me.  But I'd been head cheerleader for two years already and had gotten the team into the state quarterfinals both times.  So naturally everyone wanted to keep me in charge.  Sherrie didn't seem to mind and she's really sweet.  And unlike some of the girls on the team, she doesn't cop an attitude.  So I felt she was the perfect replacement for me.

Unfortunately, one of the other girls, Diane Gilliams, did not agree.  She's tried being my 'buddy' ever since she joined the squad two years ago.  And because she was always sucking up to me, she thought she could boss the other girls around and was always trying to take the spotlight in our routines.  I told her off many times and she was always 'sorry' and behaved herself again.  Until the next time when she thought she'd gotten on my good side.

Well, that won't be happening anymore.  After the coach announced I wasn't coming back and that we'd decided on Sherrie to lead the team everyone cheered, except Dianne.  She was pissed and let me know it as soon as we got back into the locker room.  She and a couple of her cronies tried cornering me when she thought no one was looking.  

I don't know what would've happened had Lisa not suddenly appeared and started talking in a very loud voice.  She was so loud in fact, that the coach came in to see what was going on.  Naturally, Dianne took off but not before giving us both the dirtiest look.

As soon as she was gone, Lisa turned to me and smiled.  "Don't worry, I've got your back.  I'll always have your back."

I so wanted to hug her right then, but she was in full  black today.  "Thanks," I managed to mutter and quickly left the locker room.  As I did, I glanced back at her one last time and saw the sad and confused look on her face.  

God how I wanted to go back and tell her what was going on, but I needed to get home.  Mom and Dad would be home soon, along with results of the latest tests that will tell us if the treatments are helping or not.  If they aren't.... I can't think that.  They've got to be helping him.  They've just got to...

LATER

The results were very promising.  The treatments are helping.  But he's not out of the woods yet.  I have to be strong. 

Good night.