Lisa's Private Thoughts - Nov. 26, 2009 - Thanksgiving With Uncle Nathan - Part II

Now, the sight of a roasted turkey, with no head, getting up and shaking a fist was weird enough.  But watching it grab one of the nearby carving knives and taking a dueler's stance took it to a whole new level of silliness.  

Even before Uncle Nathan reached for the other carving knife, the rest of us automatically took several steps backwards, away from the table.  We all knew what was coming and didn't feel like getting caught in the middle of what was undoubtedly going to be a memorable battle.  Man and roast bird saluted each other with their weapons, followed by each taking a dueling stance.  

"I knew I should've left you in the oven for another ten minutes, you over-sized chicken," Uncle Nathan grunted, while parrying an attack. 

The turkey, unable to speak, merely flipped him the bird in return.  Then it retreated across the table and waved its backside at him.

Looking properly offended, Uncle Nathan muttered, "Oooo... I'm going cram an onion the size of a bowling ball in you for that."

Our intended dinner responded by making the 'Bring it,' gesture.  

Leaping up onto the table Uncle Nathan rushed towards his opponent across the length of the table and their carving knives clashed once again.

For the next minute, man and dinner, battled across the table in a remarkably silly yet athletic duel, while managing to avoid knocking over candelabras or glasses, or even stepping on a plate or utensil.  

I glanced over at Dr. Jack and my father who were both shaking there heads and trying to suppress smiles, as their wives gave each other resigned sighs.  Meanwhile Joe and Darlene, who hang out with me at school, were both enjoying the spectacle as much as I was.  

Finally, my mother steps forward and puts her hands on her hips.  Then she yells, "No feet on the dinner table!"

Both bird and man freeze in mid-fight.  The two of them stare at her for a moment and then take very guilty stances and point at each other.  "He started it," Uncle Nathan murmured, while his opponent took advantage of the moment to slap the knife out of his hand.

Immediately, our host, did a double-back flip off the table and retreated behind the nearby harp.  His opponent beat its breast in triumph and leapt after him, waving its weapon angrily.  Now began a game of cat and mouse, with Uncle Nathan using the harp as a shield.  At first the roast bird, tried chasing him around the harp, then it tried to stab at him through the strings, which proved to be a mistake.

Uncle Nathan kicked the weapon out of its grip and then pushed the harp down on top of the bird.  The strings of the harp sliced through the bird, leaving it carved in pieces on the floor.

Straightening up, Uncle Nathan looked at his handiwork and shook his head.  "Wow, the guy at the butcher shop told this bird might be a little tough, and he wasn't kidding. Okay, who wanted white meat?" he asked turning towards us.  

Naturally no one spoke.  We all just glared at him. 

"Oh come on, how many times do you get to have dinner and a show?" he insisted.

At this point I saw the green mist slipping out from the remains of our 'dinner' and into the cuffs of his pants and knew what was really going on.  Stepping over to where the harp lay I took a close look at the 'remains' and saw the that the bird had actually been made of foam, covered in latex and painted to look like a roast turkey skin.  

"You didn't get a turkey did you?" I said pointedly.

Uncle Nathan bowed his head and said, "They were all sold out by the time I got back this morning."

"This morning?" I cried in disbelief.  "Where were you?"

"I was out of town, sort of..." he began, when a loud boisterous voice, with a thick German accent, rang out from the area of the kitchen saying, "Happy Thanks-Pizza everyone!"

A moment later, a short stocky man with a graying beard and moustache appeared pushing a cart with the biggest pizza I'd ever seen on it.  He was wearing a chef's hat and moving around so quickly, it took me a moment to recognize him.  His name was Professor Otto Hofstadter, and he was one of Uncle Nathan's closest and oldest friends.  They'd known each other for years, according to Uncle Nathan, but there was always something about the way he said it that had made me wonder if there was more that he was not telling me.  But now was not the time to ask questions.  Dinner had arrived and everyone was starving.

My mother shook her head as we all sat down around the table and said, "Well, it might not be a traditional Thanksgiving dinner with turkey, but at least we'll all be eating well."

"On the contrary, my dear," the professor corrected as he and Uncle Nathan started serving huge pizza slices.  "I made sure that we used turkey sausage as part of the toppings."

"Oh well, that makes all the difference," said Dr. Jack as he helped pass the food around to those farthest from the pie.

A part of me wanted to ask where they'd gotten an oven big enough to cook a pizza this size, but I decided not to.  I was more interested in knowing where Uncle Nathan had been and what had kept him away all this time.  The fact that Professor Hofstadter was with us, told me that an adventure had taken place in one of those strange places Uncle Nathan has always hinted at, but has never fully explained to me.  

I decided there and then that I was going to keep a close eye on those two and maybe follow them if possible and see what they got up to when the next opportunity presented itself.

*This concludes this year's Thanksgiving tale.  I hope you all found it amusing and entertaining.  May all of you have a Happy Thanksgiving and may all your travels be safe and enjoyable -- Allan and Helen Krummenacker* 

Changes Are Coming In 2016...

Once more, with the permission of Nathan and the rest of the cast here at the Vampyre Blogs, the author has a few words about what you can expect to see here in the coming year:

As the New Year draws closer, I have been thinking a great deal about my writing and in particular about "The Vampyre Blogs - I: Coming Home".   As you can see just from the title I've begun making changes.  I wanted to make it clear to anyone not already familiar with this blog, that this first book is the beginning of a series that will continue for some time to come.  Or at least, that is my hope.  Nathan and company have already assured me that they have many stories they want share both on the blog and in book form, so I feel safe to say that this series will continue to grow.

Currently, I've finally begun work on the cover of the book.  I know a number of you are already familiar with this image that I made using Adobe Photoshop:

While interesting, it also shows that I did not have a completely clear idea of where the story was going to go when I began writing about Nathan and his friends.  But since I've had the chance to tell so many short stories here on the blog, as well as finish a first draft of the novel, I have a much clearer vision of the kind of image I wanted for the book.  Plus, a number of readers who are already familiar with my other two novels "The Bridge" and "The Ship" expressed a desire for me to continue rendering the covers myself as I have for those novels.  I always work in soft pastels, but had a difficult time coming to grips with what the image should look likefor this book.  I wanted it to come from the story itself, a scene that takes place which not only catches the eye but captures the imagination.  Here is a sneak peak of the cover as I continue to work on it:

Rest assured there will be quite a bit more tweaking to the piece and reworking the foreground colors.  But I am very pleased with how I captured the fall leaves on the ground and the family plot located in the back of Nathan's family manor.  As for the doll... well that would be telling at this point, but rest assured its presence is a foreshadowing of things to come in the story.  However, I will share with you that the manor is not quite as empty as Nathan has believed for the last 150 years...

Anyway, the next thing I wanted to share with you all is the fact that my name will not be the only one appearing on the book cover.  For some time my wife Helen has been my biggest supporter and helper in more ways than one.  Not only have I used her for a sounding board, but she has also played a critical role in the scientific aspects of the Para-Earth Series (which this book and blog are part of).  It has been through her vast knowledge of science and fiction that I've been able create Nathan's condition, as well as coming up with visions of what some of the other Para-Earths are like: the kind of life forms that evolved for instance and why it happened.  

But most important of all, she created a character who you've met on this blog before.  Professor Otto Hofstadter,was a character she literally dreamed up one night, long before I settled on the idea of doing a vampyre piece.  In the dream, one of the main characters from "The Bridge", Police Sergeant Veronica Ross, encountered him at a crime scene crouching over a dead body.   Of course in the dream Veronica had no idea that this strange little man who appeared to be in his 50's had nothing to do with the victim's death.  So it was only natural that she drew her weapon and told Otto to freeze and put his hands in the air.  She was totally unprepared for Otto to put a finger to the side of his nose and do a back-flip out of the window behind him and nail the landing two stories below.  Furthermore, she certainly wasn't expecting this strange older man to race across the lawn, jumping over objects and the fence like an Olympic athlete and disappear into the night.  

As for Helen, she only had one name for the fellow when she woke up "The Professor".  Since then she's fleshed Otto's history and personality out quite a bit, and he plays a pivotal role in the upcoming novel itself.  So it is only right, in my opinion, that her name will appear alongside mine on the cover of the book and all those that follow in "The Vampyre Blogs" saga of my Para-Earth Series.  

We have plans for Otto in stories of his own as well and will be partnering him with two of the supporting characters from my second novel "The Ship".   I'm hoping to have Otto share a couple of his own stories here on the blog as well, so keep an eye out for them because he has a number of good stories (and sometimes, embarrassing ones) about Nathan.  I hope you'll find him as fascinating and amusing as I have.

So now you know what to expect in the coming year and those that will follow.  As I've said before, Nathan and company, have many adventures to share with us all and I for one am looking forward to them. 

I do not know if I'll have time to post another entry here before New Year's Eve, but in case I don't I wish to leave you all with this image...

Lisa's Private Thoughts - Nov. 26, 2009 - Thanksgiving With Uncle Nathan - Part II

Now, the sight of a roasted turkey, with no head, getting up and shaking a fist was weird enough.  But watching it grab one of the nearby carving knives and taking a dueler's stance took it to a whole new level of silliness.  

Even before Uncle Nathan reached for the other carving knife, the rest of us automatically took several steps backwards, away from the table.  We all knew what was coming and didn't feel like getting caught in the middle of what was undoubtedly going to be a memorable battle.  Man and roast bird saluted each other with their weapons, followed by each taking a dueling stance.  

"I knew I should've left you in the oven for another ten minutes, you over-sized chicken," Uncle Nathan grunted, while parrying an attack. 

The turkey, unable to speak, merely flipped him the bird in return.  Then it retreated across the table and waved its backside at him.

Looking properly offended, Uncle Nathan muttered, "Oooo... I'm going cram an onion the size of a bowling ball in you for that."

Our intended dinner responded by making the 'Bring it,' gesture.  

Leaping up onto the table Uncle Nathan rushed towards his opponent across the length of the table and their carving knives clashed once again.

For the next minute, man and dinner, battled across the table in a remarkably silly yet athletic duel, while managing to avoid knocking over candelabras or glasses, or even stepping on a plate or utensil.  

I glanced over at Dr. Jack and my father who were both shaking there heads and trying to suppress smiles, as their wives gave each other resigned sighs.  Meanwhile Joe and Darlene, who hang out with me at school, are both enjoying the spectacle as much as I am.  

Finally, my mother steps forward and puts her hands on her hips.  Then she yells, "No feet on the dinner table!"

Both bird and man freeze in mid-fight.  The two of them stare at her for a moment and then take very guilty stances and point at each other.  "He started it," Uncle Nathan murmured, while his opponent took advantage of the moment to slap the knife out of his hand.

Immediately, our host, did a double-back flip off the table and retreatede behind the nearby harp.  His opponent beat its breast in triumph and leapt after him, waving its weapon angrily.  Now began a game of cat and mouse, with Uncle Nathan using the harp as a shield.  At first the roast bird, tried chasing him around the harp, then it tried to stab at him through the strings, which proved to be a mistake.

Uncle Nathan kicked the weapon out of its grip and then pushed the harp down on top of the bird.  The strings of the harp sliced through the bird, leaving it carved in pieces on the floor.

Straightening up, Uncle Nathan looked at his handiwork and shook his head.  "Wow, the guy at the butcher shop told this bird might be a little tough, and he wasn't kidding. Okay, who wanted white meat?" he asked turning towards us.  

Naturally no one spoke.  We all just glared at him. 

"Oh come on, how many times do you get to have dinner and a show?" he insisted.

At this point I saw the green mist slipping out from the remains of our 'dinner' and into the cuffs of his pants and knew what was really going on.  Stepping over to where the harp lay I took a close look at the 'remains' and saw the that the bird had actually been made of foam, covered in latex and painted to look like a roast turkey skin.  

"You didn't get a turkey did you?" I said pointedly.

Uncle Nathan bowed his head and said, "They were all sold out by the time I got back this morning."

"This morning?" I cried in disbelief.  "Where were you?"

"I was out of town, sort of..." he began, when a loud boisterous voice, with a thick German accent, rang out from the area of the kitchen saying, "Happy Thanks-Pizza everyone!"

A moment later, a short stocky man with a greying beard and moustache appeared pushing a cart with the biggest pizza I'd ever seen on it.  He was wearing a chef's hat and moving around so quickly, it took me a moment to recognize him.  His name was Professor Otto Hofstadter, and he was one of Uncle Nathan's closest and oldest friends.  They'd known each other for years, according to Uncle Nathan, but there was always something about the way he said it that had made me wonder if there was more that he was not telling me.  But now was not the time to ask questions.  Dinner had arrived and everyone was starving.

My mother shook her head as we all sat down around the table and said, "Well, it might not be a traditional Thanksgiving dinner with turkey, but at least we'll all be eating well."

"On the contrary, my dear," the professor corrected as he and Uncle Nathan started serving huge pizza slices.  "I made sure that we used turkey sausage as part of the toppings."

"Oh well, that makes all the difference," said Dr. Jack as he helped pass the food around to those farthest from the pie.

A part of me wanted to ask where they'd gotten an oven big enough to cook a pizza this size, but I decided not to.  I was more interested in knowing where Uncle Nathan had been and what had kept him away all this time.  The fact that Professor Hofstadter was with us, told me that an adventure had taken place in one of those strange places Uncle Nathan has always hinted at, but has never fully explained to me.  

I decided there and then that I was going to keep a close eye on those two and maybe follow them if possible and see what they got up to when the next opportunity presented itself.

*This concludes this year's Thanksgiving tale.  I hope you all found it amusing and entertaining.  May all of you have a Happy Thanksgiving and may all your travels be safe and enjoyable -- Allan Krummenacker*